Starving Artists No More

If you're in the theatre business, you've heard the word "stipend" far too many times, usually with the word "small" preceding it.

sti·pend –noun

1.	a periodic payment, esp. a scholarship or fellowship allowance granted to a student.

2.	fixed or regular pay; salary.

Now, as I've mentioned before, I've done a lot of jobs for little to no pay. I like to gain the experience, and learning is cool, kids. But it is disheartening to take a look at theatre job sites where there are help wanted ads asking one to stage manage, build a set, design lights, stitch costumes or juggle a set of ginsu knives while whistling under water----for a "small stipend".
I get it- there are many, many small companies out there doing theatre to warm the depths of their penny-pinching hearts. However, for any of you unfamiliar with this business, asking someone to design and build a set for "good karma and occasional snacks" is something akin to asking your decor-savvy friend to re-floor your apartment, re-upholster your furniture, and re-paint all your walls (in a striped pattern) in exchange for three broken Nilla Wafers.
Most of said theatre companies will lure people in with the promise of "great learning experience" or "chance to work with an exciting young company". Guess what? I already had a great (and by great I mean long) learning experience. It was called "college". And "chance to work with an exciting young company" is almost synonymous with "we'll disappear after this show gets an audience of just 6 people a night for three days."
So what's a beginning company to do? There is no money in the arts, at least not in this country. And most of the time, everyone has to work a stupid amount of hours to afford their astronomical NYC rent.

Here are your options:
1. Don't do theatre in NYC.
2. Make a lot of friends.
3. Start out with low-tech shows.

Number 3 is an option most companies won't consider, as it will utterly destroy(!) their artistic vision not to have eight flats with three doors and tile flooring. But I say, if you can't carry a production with just the script and the acting, you have no business being here anyway. What good is a 3-D set if you have 2-D characters?
I'm not saying any of this out of bitterness or anger; I'm giving what I truly believe to be good advice. I've worked on many shows for my friends, and will continue to do so, because they are my friends. But I think the cycle of asking for skilled labor for no money needs not to be the norm. You've never heard anyone ask an exterminator to clean their home of roaches in exchange for subway fare, right? Also, it is my belief that there is waaaaaay too much shitty theatre out there, siphoning talent and hands from shows that are actually worthwhile. The problem here is that everyone thinks his/her show is a theatrical gem, and that they will be "discovered" in some shitty blackbox on the Lower East Side.
What I'm saying is, if less bad theatre were done here in New York, perhaps the small companies might have enough money to give out a fourth broken Nilla Wafer.