Dexter

I thought I was going to hate this show, based on its marketing campaign and ridiculous premise.
The premise is still absurd and laughable, the characters are fairly stock, and some of the dialogue makes me cringe a little. But some of this show is so brilliant I can't help but enjoy it. Perhaps the best little trick the writers have played is to create a lead character who's a bit on the dopey side for all his evil genius tendencies.

To make an audience root for a serial killer? No small task. It helps that they've given him some type of conscience in the form of an ethical code given to him by his adoptive father. However, this same conceit is pretty cheesy at the same time.

Whatever. I love it. Maybe it's the sociopath in me.

Election War

If you have access to television, newspapers, or any other media stronghold, you've likely read or heard the following lines, or something akin to them:

Hillary Slams Obama Over Deceptive Ohio Mailers

Obama Slugs Back At "Trial Lawyer" Edwards

McCain Punches Back over GI Bill

Clinton Fights Back to take New Hampshire

Democrats Attack; McCain Kicks Back

Obama Attacks McCain's Record On Immigration

Romney Blasts McCain Over Iraq War Charge

Hillary Clinton Battles for Rhode Island Voters

Under Fire, Obama Tackles Race Relations Head-on

Clinton, Obama Camp Exchange War of ‘Just Words’

It's a wonder our presidential candidates remain standing. It's getting bloody and tiresome. I would like to put forth the following motion:

For the next three months, any campaign-related issues must use metaphors based on Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior.

I submit the following substitutes for the above headlines:

Hillary Sets Obama's Table over Deceptive Ohio Mailers.

Obama Puts Down Toilet Seat on "Trial Lawyer" Edwards

McCain Invited to GI Bill Soiree; Politely Declines with Adequate Notice

Hillary Silences Cell Phone to Take New Hampshire

Democrats Serve Appetizers; McCain Asks to be Excused

Obama Removes Tongue Ring to talk about McCain's Immigration Record

Romney RSVP's to McCain for Iraq War Soiree

Hillary Clinton Correctly Pronounces the Name of Every Rhode Islander

Obama Avoids Wearing White Suit at Interracial Wedding

Clinton, Obama Camp Exchange Recipes for Key Lime Pie

Heather and Karen's Adventures in NYC (New York City)

Dear blog,

Last weekend, Heather and I went to the Big Apple for the very first time. There were so many exciting things to see, and so many strange people! Our first stop, of course, was to the Statue of Liberty! It's soooo much awesomer in person!



On our way to Chinatown, we encountered some of the urban graffiti we've heard so much about. I guess it's a real problem here. We thought it was sort of "edgy" and "cool" though.





Some of the locals, hangin' out in Chinatown:



The Big Apple is really open to all types, including the gays. We saw sooo many gay people all over! Here are a few of our faves:









Not everything is all sunshine and happiness in the city. Crimes like homelessness,



...single motherhood...


...prostitution....



...child abuse...



...and theft still run, rampantly speaking.



Women are liberated in New York. Here, we stumbled upon folks gathering for a Women's Rights Rally. I guess it was sponsored by Levi's.



Conspicuous consumption! Here we saw a famous Andy Warhol painting for sale! Can you imagine?



Education is suffering here. A lot of people didn't even know that Jesus died a few years back there:



Enough adventuring! I'm hungry! It's off to Little Italy with us! Join us next time!

HAHA.

...gotcha.

Taking a Break

Hey dudes. I'm taking a break from this blogging shit. It's just, there's so much drama, and I don't know who's being a fake and omg, Tom is gonna delete your blog if you don't comment here. So.

Note to literary managers

Simply because a play contains two men pondering death and waiting for something does not make it "Beckettian".

Similarly, simply because a play has something British about it does not make it "Pinter-esque".

Have you people ever seen a Beckett play? Come on!

Percentages

I was wondering, after a recent post of mine, what percentage of the plays I've read for work (which are given to me in random order) are set in a New York City apartment, and what percent contained voodoo, etc.

Here's a fun breakdown:

NYC apartment setting: 38%
Voodoo-type stuff: 17%
Race Issues: 13%
Gay Jokes: 17%
Male Lead Character: 68%
Male Author:70%
Pre-1960: 13%
Not in the U.S.: 8%
Features a person turning into something un-human: 17%
Features drug use: 13%
Features a prostitute who likes her job: 12%
Features a prostitute who hates her job: 0%
Drama: 68%
Comedy: 20%
Undecided, or neither of the above:12%
Features marital infidelity: 28%
Features an important dream or "vision" (including ghosts): 42%
Is an absolutely inscrutable piece of shit: 6%

I have recommended for a second read: 16%

Spot On

Another Playwriting Tip

No more random voo-doo/witch doctor/mystical Indians to solve all your play's dilemmas.

It's just unbearable.

Thanks.