Reverse Robbery

It was around 4 in the a.m., at the 191st street subway station In Washington Heights. I was heading home with my friend Heather from a long and productive night ridiculing dumb men at bars, and I was pretty damn tired. The station was actually really busy for that time of night- lots of folks out and about.

As we left the elevator, a man approached behind me, and I heard Heather gasp. The next thing I knew, there was a quick succession of ass grab, hand-on-my-waist, and a crumpled dollar bill shoved in my face. Somewhere in there, I managed to get out the words "don't fucking touch me".

For a few minutes, I struggled to make sense of the quick event, wondering if I had misconstrued the action, or if he had been trying to hand me back a dollar that had in fact dropped somewhere. Heather assured me that this was not so, because she had seen the man take the dollar bill from a money clip that held just the one dollar.

I've since decided that this man is an agent for the common good. He goes bravely into the night, accosts people, and hands them money. Sort of like the street version of "Cash Cab". In exchange, you still get to feel violated and have others feel concerned for you.