Even more advice for playwrights (you're welcome)

1. GET A REAL AGENT.
Judging by the vast amount of scripts I read with the names of prestigious literary agencies emblazoned on the covers, it is not hard to get an agent. Therefore, you should not have your best friend (who works at some law firm in Tulsa) write you a letter of recommendation in which he pretends to be your agent. We have Google. We use it liberally when we smell bullshit. And your best friend is a terrible liar. So.

2. KEEP YOUR BIO SHORT.
Really short. No DOB, no hobbies. Don't tell me where you went to school- it can only hurt you. If you went to Yale and your script sucks, we think "is this all Yale could do?". If you went to Yale and your script is awesome we think "well, yeah, but my dog could write like that for $40k a year if he grew up a privileged fuck too"). Do we really think these things? Well, I can only speak for myself, but I can't be the only jaded bitch out there. And your script should speak for itself.

3. DON'T TELL ME.
If you have submitted your awful, awful play to the Pulitzer committee or the Nobel prize committee or some other such ridiculous thing, do not tell me. Wait, I take that back. Continue to tell me these things. I like a good laugh.


Every two weeks or so, my meeting with the literary manager (LM) goes as follows:

LM: So, anything good this time around?
Me: No.

So, give me something good to read, something that has representation, something that's not set inside an apartment, something that isn't thinly-veiled autobiography. Thanks.

If you need more advice, see my other posts on this topic: here and here.